Present moment awareness

Jody Agard • Nov 01, 2021

As I stood in my kitchen holding my morning cup of coffee, I gazed outside the sliding glass doors. Just beyond them I saw the reflection of our lake.

I took in the beauty of it for a moment, I breathed in deeply the smell of my fresh cup of coffee. It felt like a commercial.

But it’s not, this is my life.

A once distant dream, I soaked in the present moment.

“What are you doing? Go get sit at your computer!” the voice within me whispered.

“I let go.” I reply back.

“Your life isn’t a coffee commercial, get back to reality.” The voice pushed back.

“I let go.” I repeated.

“You need to make sure Evan’s up soon, go check!” It enforces.

“I let go.” I reply back.

I’ve come to recognize that I have two voices within myself.

There’s the voice of reason, trying to get me to stick to my goals and structured day. I need that voice. It is a part of me.

Then there’s the voice of love, and of presence. That voice likes to be the observer, it doesn’t feel attached or hung up on anything. It simply enjoys drinking in the present moment. I need that voice. It is a part of me.

One voice is not better than the other and one voice isn’t wrong and the other right.

They are equally important and a part of who I am.

That said though, each voice wants to lead me. At times one is more skillful than the other.

It’s been my job over this last decade to discern the two voices.

The voice that tells me I need to get a move on may be more skillful if I need to leave for an appointment. While the other is more skillful if I am sitting next to my son having a conversation with him.

I allow the two voices to coexist peacefully, without shame or judgment or contempt.

Jody

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