The Boxes We Put Ourselves In…

22 Jun The Boxes We Put Ourselves In…

The other day I was chatting with a neighbor and we were talking about eyesight.

The conversation went a little something like this…

Me: I feel blessed I have good eyes and don’t need glasses.

Her: How old are you?

Me: 40

Her: Oh you just wait, you’ll need them.

Me: No thank you, I don’t choose to accept that thought.

Her: Omg. You’re absolutely right.

Normally, I probably wouldn’t have shared that out loud and simply said it to myself, but this person understands my language and way of being to the fullest.

My reply was a knee jerk reaction.

But it hasn’t always been like that.

Nowadays, the way I think and speak are a big part of my self care practice.

 

I’ve learned that everyone has a story and we go around projecting these stories on everyone else.

The thing about it is, the stories we tell are based on our past experiences.

—- Our experience is based on all the stuff that’s happened to us.

Eeeeeek!

Yep, all that “baggage”.

So I’m very aware, not only about the stories I tell myself – but also the stories others deem as my truth.

I have this underlying attitude of don’t put me in a box, I do enough of that on my own.

This happens alot, especially with families. The putting into a box thing. 

When someone has notoriously behaved a certain way as a kid and now they’re adults – they are still essentially being looked at as that “troubled kid”, “lazy kid”, “mouthy kid”, “the kid who sucks with money”… whatever the case may be.

Its like we’re perpetually stuck in this pattern.

Breaking free from these chains, by choosing to longer accept other peoples thoughts and beliefs is the best way to dissolve these patterns.

And its ultra important to implement this into our self care practice.

Here’s another example of this is…

When my husband and I first started dating, it was incredibly hard for me to say “I’m sorry”. Even though I may have felt sorry, it took everything I had to say it out loud. If I even did at all.

That was the hard truth that I had to face.

So over the last 9 years I’ve had to work incredibly hard to break that pattern because I recognized it was unhealthy for my relationship.

I have come a loooooong way since then.

But—- every once in a while my husband will try to put me into that box again, reminding me of my old stubborn ways.

In all honesty, I don’t blame him. That was his experience for many years.

So, I check in with myself to see if there’s truth in what he’s saying and then I simply acknowledge it as a “past truth”, but I don’t take ownership of it being my truth today and I continue to create a new truth with my internal dialogue.

If I didn’t do this, I may very well end up reverting back to my old ways and not rewriting my own script. And that wouldn’t be beneficial to anybody.

Be aware of the boxes that others are trying to put you in and most importantly be willing to be aware of the boxes you’re putting yourself into. 

 

You can choose a different “box” anytime you wish! 

 

With love, 

Jody

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