Nobody But You…A Quick Rundown to Self-Care

14 Mar Nobody But You…A Quick Rundown to Self-Care


I recently had a hysterectomy — which requires a recovery time of 6-8 weeks.

 

Mentally, I was prepared for this, but I’m not quite sure my family was prepared for the slew of activities I wouldn’t be able to do post-op.

 

Like drive, or pick up a heavy laundry basket, or my dog, or vacuum, or mop or help bring in groceries.

 

Granted, my recovery has gone exceptionally well considering I’m only 6 days post-op.

 

I am utterly amazed at the rapid healing transformation my body has gone through.

I’ve been up, making my own meals, and even going for short walks by myself around the block.

However, I tire easily and still cannot do the things mentioned above.

 

The other day, while I was up making my lunch, my husband asked…

“You wanna help me pick up the house a bit?”

 

Normally, my answer would be “Sure. Let’s get it done!”

Actually, let’s be honest…I’d be the one asking him.

I rolled his words around in my head for a moment and checked in with myself briefly.

My answer…“Nope. Not feeling up to it.”

And I had no problems telling him so.

Now, to say that was one thing.

To say that with zero guilt has

taken years of practice and countless failures.

 

You see, my long-term recovery is solely dependent on the actions I take, today.

Right here, right now. In this very moment.

I know I cannot leave that responsibility up to anybody else but myself, especially not my husband.

 

He’s a great guy in all, but I have no doubt if it were up to him that I’d be back

in the full swing of things running circles around him by now.

 

But I’ll be honest, saying no – while vital – isn’t always easy.

However, planning makes it easier.

Not just physically planning, but mentally planning too.

Every woman should have some sort of self-care plan incorporated into their daily lives.

 

Surgery, or no surgery, young and old.

Would you ever plan a road trip without mapping out the route beforehand?

Sure, you “could” do it…but it wouldn’t be highly recommended.

I knew that my pre-op self-care plan would need to be amped up post-surgery.

Not just for my health, but for my sanity too.

 

Its nothing crazy either.

It’s just a matter of resting when I’m tired, allowing myself to enjoy a good book at a time I would normally be doing other things, saying no and asking for help more often.

I believe if more women were willing to say no and delegate on a more frequent basis in their daily lives, the more they would feel  fulfilled and satisfied. Not only with life as a whole, but in relationships too.

A partnership is what most women crave.

I’ve chatted with and coached countless women/moms who hold a great deal of resentment towards their husbands and significant others.

 

Their chief complaint…”I don’t get enough help.”

They are often taken aback when I ask “What have you done to contribute to this?”

I often hear a long list of reasons, and excuses such as…

“Well, my husband is the breadwinner and he works hard. My job is to take care of the kids.”

Or, “He’s hardly ever home because he’s working so much.” “I have no choice but to do as much as I do.

 

Resentment builds over time after a woman’s feelings have been pushed off to the side, usually for an extended period of time.

 

Self-Care, especially, radical self-care requires women to stand up and say “I cannot be the best I can be if I don’t have time for myself.”

 

It boils down to just 3 small, but oh so powerful words.

 

I need help.

We can’t blame our partners or expect them to be mind readers.

We are the ones responsible for our own well being.

Nobody but you knows how you’re feeling.

Nobody but you knows when you’re on the verge of burnout.

Nobody but you knows the tasks you need help with.

 

Nobody but you knows how much you have on your plate.

Nobody but you knows how many hats you wear on any given day.

Nobody but you knows when it’s time for a break.

 

Asking for and accepting help is not a weakness.

In fact…it takes a great amount of strength and courage as the strong, independent woman you are, to receive help.

Know your limits.

 

Ask for help.

Graciously accept help.

Allow yourself time {daily} to take care of yourself.

 

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